Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Queens Disoriented Are.
DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and and Office and Town ...or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.
DEPRESSION - Silent anhedonia, Holy anhedonia. All is calm, All is pretty lonely.
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away)
Welcome to the Email Wonderland
Sung to the tune of "Walking In A Winter Wonderland"
Another "ping",
Are you listenin'?
The puter screen,
Is a glistenin'.
With icons so bright,
They light up the night,
Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!
Gone away,
Are the hall talks.
Here to stay,
Is the IN-BOX.
Flagged "urgent, please read!",
And "answer with speed!".
Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!
In the morning e-mails start to add up.
No lunch today cause messages abound.
Just click away and hope the server stays up.
You can't do your job if it goes down.
10 P.M.,
You're not tired.
The caffeine,
Has got you wired.
The day's not complete,
Till the last delete,
Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!
In the morning e-mails start to add up,
No lunch today cause messages abound.
Just click away and hope the server stays up.
You can't do your job if it goes down.
Until you,
Are retired,
The same old grind,
It is required.
You'll face unafraid,
That message parade.
Welcome to the e-mail wonderland!
Three Wise Women
Do you know what would have happened if it had been three wise women instead of three wise men?
They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts!
-----------------------------------
That's what they would like you to believe. However, this is what
would have really happened.
They would have been late getting started (It's tough to get your
make-up so that it doesn't clash with the camel).
Then one would have to go back to change clothes because her outfit was too similar to one of the other's.
After a quick (6 hours) stop at the mall for the gift, they would have
a huge fight about whether or not a Barney Sleeper fell into the
category of swaddling clothes.
Half way to the oasis the camel would have broken down (no one checked his water level). After finally arriving at Bethlehem (They had to stop and ask directions 12 times), they stopped at a beauty parlor to get their hair done (They couldn't see the baby looking like that).
When they saw the stable they turned around and went back to a Howard Johnson's and got a room for everyone (There was no way they were going to stay in a dump like that).
The feminine trio finally arrived back at the stable only to find that
the new parents had left for Egypt.
Merry Christmas, from Bro. Jeff
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