Thursday, December 11, 2008

One Hundred Years Ago +

The year is 1908. One hundred years ago. Here are some statistics for the Year 1908:

The average life expectancy was 47 years. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

Only 14% of the homes had a bathtub. Only 8% of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars only 144 miles of paved roads and the maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The average wage was 22 cents per hour. The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year; a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95% of all births took place at home.

90% of all doctors had NO college education. Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as ’substandard.’

Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease 5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn’t been invented yet. There was no Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

20% of all adults couldn’t read or write. Only 6% of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, ‘Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels,
and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.’

18% of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders that year in the ENTIRE U.S.A.

Now I forwarded this from someone else without typing it myself, and sent it to you and others all over the US and Canada and around the world in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years. IT STAGGERS THE MIND!

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern.

“Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.”

“Oh please, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

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Bill forwarded this story about an elderly couple who stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.

As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, ‘While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.’

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More choices for the best (or wurst) puns, this the December batch:

“She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.”

“A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.

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A youngster was playing in the living room while Dad was watching the news. The newscaster added a brief word at the conclusion of a story. “And two Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident.”

The child took that in and tears began to form in her eyes. “That’s horrible!! So many men dying that way!”

Confused, he said, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.”

After a few minutes, the child, still whimpering, asked, ‘Exactly how many IS a Brazilian?”

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